If you've made an assumption you've probably made a mistake!

Every time you make what feels like an educated assumption about someone or something, remember that your conclusion is really just a guess, shaped by your own perspective and experiences. You can’t truly understand a person’s situation unless you have lived their life, and since you can’t do that, the next best thing is to actually talk with them.

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Nothing frustrates me more than gossip‑mongers passing judgment on things they don’t, or can’t, easily understand, especially when they could take two minutes to ask a question or read up and educate themselves; it’s obnoxious and rude. Instead, people often fill in the blanks with wild assumptions, but in most cases there are solid reasons behind a person’s actions, and those reasons are different for everyone. Don’t hate people for doing this – for some, it’s simply the only way they know how to cope with the unknown.

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If this all makes sense to you, then trust me: you’re blessed with more brainpower than the average person and you’re able to see deeper than the surface level where gossip and snap judgments live. If you’re guilty of this kind of assuming (and I know people who thrive on it), at least try to keep those assumptions to yourself, because you can’t expect to reach accurate conclusions from guesses alone. Don’t judge people and don’t jump to conclusions; choose kindness instead, because you have no idea what battles others are fighting.

If you don’t understand something, go and look up the answers – it’s not hard, and you’ll grow your understanding at the same time. And finally, talk to a person before you have a whole conversation based on nonsense about them; they might hear about it, it will probably upset them, and it won’t do your relationship any favours. I won’t name names – you know who you are – and yes, I’m aware I’m making a fair few assumptions myself here, but that’s unavoidable when trying to get this kind of message across. Just know that I’ve reached these conclusions after decades of research and of reflecting mainly on my own circumstances.